Maple Syrup Overdrive, Part Two

All crime is (still) true.

I spent the weekend in the slam, too worried to eat, too worried to shit. After a couple of days, I started getting suspicious because they still hadn’t charged me. They let me go on Tuesday because it turned out the cops fucked up and Mom’s attorney started a long, painful process of crushing their balls.

“He was visiting his mother that day. We not only have video surveillance from her home but also the gas station up the road where he’s clearly on camera buying a drink while his gas tank is being filled. Three video cameras show him entering and leaving the store. Traffic cams confirm and expand it. The doctor was found dead in the Pine Barrens near Fort Dix. There’s no way he could’ve been in both places at once. If you let him go now, the lawsuit damages will probably stay in the six figures instead of seven. Better hope he doesn’t get sick in here. I hear he already has diarrhea. That could be food poisoning, or worse. We’re contacting the Department of Health.”

So he let them have it and got me out. I was relieved but it didn’t last long. Freddy had a cousin who lived near the Pine Barrens and often stopped there on his way to Atlantic City. I was pretty sure Freddy was involved. Pretty damn sure.

After the paperwork and getting my pocket change back, I went straight home and showered, shit, and got a pizza that I ate in record time. Then I went to see Mom. When I got there, she was packing.

“Going somewhere?” I asked.

“This whole thing with Milo has upset me more than you could possibly imagine. He was leaving his wife for me.”

“His wife was thirty-seven. You’re fifty-something.”

“Nevertheless. And thanks for the reality check. I feel better about myself now, really.”

“Well, you look better. The swelling’s way down. Your cheek almost looks normal again.”

“You’re all heart.”

I was going to really lay into her, but caught myself. “Who would want to kill Milo?” I said. “He was everyone’s candy man for happy pills.”

“I don’t know,” she said. “Could have been his cunt wife, Miss Jersey fifth runner-up herself for all I know.”

“Still,” I said. “It doesn’t make sense.”

“Could I have some privacy? Unless you really want to see my sex toys.”

Jesus. I went down to the kitchen. There was a pitcher of margaritas in the fridge. I poured myself one, tasted it, and added some tequila. Something wasn’t adding up. None of this figured. Milo, at his worst, was a fuck boy with pills. Maybe a jealous husband would’ve had a beef, but everyone else knew the game he was playing.

Ahh fuck it, I thought. I drained my glass and left it on the counter. “Have fun in AC I yelled before walking out. When I got home, I took another hot shower just to get that de-stressed, mellow feeling and then fell into bed. If I dreamed at all, I don’t remember. When I woke up, it was dark. Nine-thirty. I was still restless and agitated. I wondered if the cops were watching me. Just because Mom’s expensive shyster got me out for now didn’t mean they didn’t still like me for Milo’s murder. Jesus Christ. I really needed to work on that five-year plan.

What better place to work on a five-year plan than Atlantic City. I grabbed my thousand bucks from the other night and jumped in the van. I figured I could stop off at Lucky’s for reasonably-priced steak and eggs and be in AC by midnight. I pulled into the lot and cruised around the building once to see if the cops were following me. I wasn’t up to anything illegal, but I wanted to know. No one seemed to be following me, but when I got to the far side of the building I saw something that sent my balls up into my stomach without passing GO! or collecting two hundred dollars. It was Mom and Freddy. She tossed him the keys and they got into her black Mercedes parked by the dumpster around back. I immediately killed the lights and stopped. A streetlight just over the parking lot fence showed both of them in perfect silhouette, and as soon as they got in, Mom’s silhouette in the passenger seat leaned over the driver’s seat which reclined back a bit and her head went right down into Freddy’s lap.

My mind reeled. This was bad in more ways than I could count. I had long ago accepted that Mom was an aging strumpet, but Freddy? What the fuck? This was sick even for them.

I scanned the sky for shooting stars while they finished. It wasn’t long. When I saw the Mercedes back out and disappear on the other side of the building, I slowly drove around the back of the diner and followed them out to the frontage road and then onto the Garden State.

It was the worst hour and a half of my life. Freddy drove uncharacteristically slow. I stayed far enough back to hopefully not be spotted. Twenty minutes from AC, Mom’s head went back down to his lap. For fuck’s sake.

It was the last days of the Taj Mahal and they went into the deck. I circled back and parked at the Tropicana then walked down to the Taj. I went straight to a roulette table and bet on black three times in a row and won each time. My thousand was now twenty-two hundred. I went to a blackjack table and went immediately down five hundred, then got on a heater and won seventeen hundred. I was up to just over three grand in an hour, so I took a break and went to the bar and started on gin and tonics. I was thinking about a sports bet when I saw Mom and Freddy at Baccarat across the floor. That was Mom’s game. Freddy never gambled by himself. What the fuck, I thought, this was better than watching her blow him. I didn’t know how long they’d been there, but after twenty minutes or so they left the table heading for the elevators. Security was posted there. You could only go up to the rooms if you had a room key, so I went over and attempted to go up. Security stopped me, but I hemmed and hawed long enough to see what floor Mom and Freddy’s car stopped at. Ten. I went back to the desk and lucked into a cheap-ish room. Two hundred bucks for an ocean view. Judging from the casino floor, they were at half capacity pending the shutdown that was just days away. I got my key and headed up.

I got off on ten and ran right into Freddy carrying an ice bucket full of ice.

“Holy shit!” he said.

“The fuck you doing here?” I asked.

“Needed some fun,” he said.

“Let’s go to your room,” I said. “I’m full of gin and tonics. Need to piss.”

We talked as we walked. If he was hesitant or nervous, it didn’t show.

“When did you get out?” he asked.

“This morning. The cops grill you hard?”

“Nah. I told them there’s no way you could have done Milo. You just weren’t the type.”

“Thanks.”

We got to his room. Ten-thirteen. It was a suite.

“Hey, listen, I have a chick in here. Let me make sure she’s not spread eagle naked on the floor or something.”

He went in. I caught the door. I heard some low talking, then Freddy said, “Come on in, man.”

So I went on in.

“Where’s your lady?” I asked.

“She must be downstairs shooting craps or playing some accountant from Philly for drinks or something.”

I shook my head. “You can come out now, Mom.”

Freddy laughed. “Ahh fuck.”

Mom came out of the bedroom.

“I don’t want to know what I’ve interrupted,” I said.

“Knock it off,” said Mom. “Like you’re not a degenerate in sheep’s clothing.”

“How about we all have a drink and shut the fuck up?” said Freddy.

“All I want to know is, who killed Milo?”

“It’s complicated,” said Mom.

“Well I’m clearly not very smart,” I said. “Give me the simple version.”

Mom closed her eyes and nodded, presumably at Freddy.

“We set you up,” he said.

“For murder!” I said. I was getting pissed.

“No, not that. Don’t go bitch on me now. The mugging. I didn’t hit Gloris. Milo did.”

“Milo? I don’t believe he ever hit anyone.”

“Well he did,” Freddy continued. “His wife was threatening to go to the cops. He had been in business with some pill mill guys for a year. They had forced him into it. Anyway, the wife’s threat was empty. She just wanted to pressure him into a generous divorce settlement before the lawyers started talking.”

“So Milo punched Mom?”

“He was drunk and she was done. I had been there, uh…so I was hiding in the laundry room. She was telling him they were through. When I heard the punch, I came out of there pretty hot. I tossed his little ass across the room. I think he broke his neck. Anyway, he was gone.”

“So you grabbed the watch.”

“Well, yeah. That’s a hundred grand. Drove him out to my cousin Boner’s in the Pine Barrens. Even I don’t know where Milo’s buried. Hopefully never will.”

“But I heard you punch her on the street that night.”

Freddy laughed. “You heard me slap my thigh.”

“That was a really stupid plan.”

“Maybe. We needed a witness. Who better than mama’s boy?”

“And you two?”

“We’re in love, man,” Freddy said as earnestly as he’d ever said anything.

I looked over at Mom. She was smiling at him.

“I don’t fucking believe this.”

“Well, believe it, Mister High and Mighty,” she said. “You might even thank me because I had my lawyer get you out fast as possible. And try being happy for me, for once.”

“I almost got indicted for murder because of you,” I pointed out.

“That was impossible,” she said. “You didn’t do it. Didn’t even spend a week in jail.”

I shook my head. “I need some fresh air,” I said.

“Good,” she said. “Because we need some alone time.”

Good old Mom. Rubbing it in just to make me squirm.

As I headed out, I met the room service guy going in with a cart. I flipped a chrome dome off a plate of pancakes and grabbed a few plus the little pitcher of maple syrup which I tossed in the trash. I liked my pancakes dry, and fuck Freddy for fucking my mom.

I went down to the tables but couldn’t flip the switch. What a shitty life this had turned into. I went to the bar for a gin and tonic. I needed a five-year plan right fucking now. I just wanted out. There was no way I could be around for the domestic disaster Mom and Freddy were working on. I downed my drink and got a cab for the bus station before I could talk myself out of it. I caught a bus for the Philly airport. I settled into my seat, put my earbuds in and Zeppelin on.

I had my three grand in cash and another six in the bank. Not much, but fuck it. A few hundred for a one-way to Vegas or California. Someone told me there’s a girl out there.

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NOTE: If you enjoyed this story, future chapters featuring the main character will be continued. Stay tuned!